Once upon a time there was a little boy with a passion for hair spray, Mr Porter, pop music and – I imagine you see where I’m going with this – other boys. He recently had a brief encounter (wink) at a party which was interrupted by a mutual friend knocking on the bedroom door. Panicking at the thought of being discovered in such a compromising position (wink wink) our hero jumped into a nearby closet and held his breath. Yup, he was hiding from his secret gay sex in a closet. A closet. A literal closet!
There is something so amazing about this story that I don’t even want to question whether the closet in question was not in fact actually a wardrobe. Hear, hear for poetic license.
Anyway, the point of this amusing anecdote is that we cannot leave our hero in that closet forever. At some point he is quite likely going to come out of that closet (or walk out of that wardrobe), leave his single life behind him and find the man of his dreams. And should they wish to get married, I hope that nobody will stop them. Because if there’s one thing I love as much as love, equality, and common sense, it’s a good wedding.